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That was a turning point. In motivational interviewing, there’s a distinction between sustain talk and change talk. Sustain talk is commentary about maintaining the status quo. Change talk is referencing a desire, ability, need, or commitment to make adjustments. When contemplating a change, many people are ambivalent—they have some reasons to consider it but also some reasons to stay the course. Miller and Rollnick suggest asking about and listening for change talk, and then posing some questions about why and how they might change. Say you have a friend who mentions a desire to stop smoking. You might respond by asking why she’s considering quitting. If she says a doctor recommended it, you might follow up by inquiring about her own motivations: what does she think of the idea? If she offers a reason why she’s determined to stop, you might ask what her first step toward quitting could be. “Change talk is a golden thread,” clinical psychologist Theresa Moyers says. “What you need to do is you need to pick that thread up and pull it.” So that’s what I did with Jeff. Me: What do you appreciate most about the leaders you named? Jeff: They all had vivid visions. They inspired people to achieve extraordinary things. Me: Interesting. If Steve Jobs were in your shoes right now, what do you think he’d do? Jeff: He’d probably get his leadership team fired up about a bold idea and create a reality distortion field to make it seem possible. Maybe I should do that, too. A few weeks later, Jeff stood up at an executive off-site to deliver his first-ever vision speech. When I heard about it, I was beaming with pride: I had conquered my inner logic bully and led him to find his own motivation. Unfortunately, the board ended up shutting down the company anyway. Jeff’s speech had fallen flat. He stumbled through notes on a napkin and didn’t stir up enthusiasm about the company’s direction. I had overlooked a key step—helping him think about how to execute the change effectively. There’s a fourth technique of motivational interviewing, which is often recommended for the end of a conversation and for transition points: summarizing. The idea is to explain your understanding of other people’s reasons for change, to check on whether you’ve missed or misrepresented anything, and to inquire about their plans and possible next steps. The objective is not to be a leader or a follower, but a guide. Miller and Rollnick liken it to hiring a tour guide in a foreign country: we don’t want her to order us around, but we don’t want her to follow us around, either. I was so excited that Jeff had decided to share his vision that I didn’t ask any questions about what it was—or how he would present it. I had worked with him to rethink whether and when to give a speech, but not what was in it.
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